I started reading through your article today and the first thing I noticed was the quality of the writing. I found the abstract and introduction very difficult to follow. The sentences are very long and each paragraph makes multiple points. I know you have a clear idea of what it all means but, as the reader, I was lost. To see your article from a reader’s perspective, try putting some of the paragraphs into this tool.
I know re-writing is a chore but I think your article would benefit a great deal from a substantial rewrite. I am slightly obsessive with writing so please forgive me if this feedback is unwelcome.
My go to resources for writing are (in order of most frequent to least frequent use):
- Varanya Chaubey’s Little Book of Research Writing,
- Deirde McCloskey’s Economical Writing,
- Keith Head’s Introduction Formula,
- and other resources listed here.
I am definitely not a writing expert. If you feel you need help then I suggest reaching out to a professional editor. I have had all my publications checked by a professional editor. It’s worth the money!
Hope this feedback is helpful. Thank you for sharing this early version with me and I look forward to reading the next draft.